For any educator with a growth mindset, certain experiences can bring enlightenment. Many have talked about becoming a parent. That certainly was the case for me when my daughter was born. Suddenly I looked at each kid in my class not just as a student, but as someone’s child. Now I find it quite powerful to remember that each student is as important to someone as each of my children is to me. I also know that as fellow parents we share aspirations and fears. Even more humbling is that they have entrusted their children to me.
Another watershed moment is coaching a losing team, especially if you’re competitive and have been a successful athlete. You don’t want to destroy the kids’ morale or self-esteem, and you want them to have fun. The challenge grows because the losing is so obvious and public. (As I’ve shared with some teachers who complain about coaches’ attitudes, imagine if your students had to take the test in public, with a running grade on a scoreboard, with the final result in the paper.) In trying to guide students through this experience, too often you feel as if you’re simply sharing platitudes. If you can make a season of that meaningful, you’ve done some masterful teaching. I learned my lesson regarding this the hard way. At my first school I took over a brand new soccer program. After several losing seasons in which we often were hammered, I believed that finally we would compete and maybe even win some games. We didn’t. Rather than question my coaching, I treated the kids badly. Fortunately I realized how badly and caught myself. I apologized, I changed my approach, and we ended the season very positively. In fact, that season was a key turning point towards our winning the state title two years later.
This year is another key learning experience. I’ve moved to a new school, where I am a first-time head. My learning curve is steep, but I’m talking about one particular lesson. My two children have remained at their school—my former school. Suddenly, for the first time, I’m paying full tuition!
While I had assumed I would be immune from the parent-as-consumer bug, I’m not. The lens through which I view my children’s experiences has a powerful new prism. I’ve caught myself wondering, “Is this really what I’m paying all this money for?” Ultimately, I have little doubt it’s worth the price tag, and I benefit from having an insider perspective different than that of most parents. However, I certainly can understand better parental concerns and questions. They are legitimate, particularly as tuitions rise and we ask for other gifts of time and treasure. Quite naturally this brings more intense scrutiny. If you spend more on something, don’t you expect higher quality? I don’t need to cite particular examples of increased parental demands, as I’m sure all the readers have their own war stories.
It’s very easy to become frustrated with these challenges as they become more frequent and varied. I certainly do, particularly if they are made belligerently. But now I empathize. And when they are made in the right spirit, I also welcome them. If we respond properly, we have a phenomenal opportunity in two ways. The first is marketing. We’ll have to figure out what truly differentiates us as schools and learn how to communicate it powerfully—those sticky messages. The second can be one of those growth moments for the school. Drop the instinctive defenses, and perhaps pondering the questions inherent in those challenges can lead to improvement. That can forge a powerful partnership. Both are part of a school becoming healthier and more sustainable.
People can’t fairly ask for more than that. We owe them that much. After all, families trust us with their two most precious resources: their cash and their kids. Give powerful answers, and they’ll probably write those checks more willingly. I know I will.
Mark Crotty, Head of School
St. John's Episcopal School
Dallas, TX
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Posted by: Alexis | 01/03/2011 at 02:18 PM